Hearing Thunder from the Front Line

I saw Bruce Springsteen last night sing with conviction. Granted it was on a movie screen, as he sang with a giant glorified roots band in a concert film from Dublin. But he sang about politics, about poverty, about faith, about hope. And that was always what was special about Bruce. That he could channel what was important to him into his music.
I thought last night to myself. When do I start taking things more seriously. When do I start fighting my fight. Every day I open up the newspages online, which is I guess the modern day equivalent of opening up the newspaper. I see photos of war and poverty, suffering, and struggles. I see stories of mankind's abuse of the environment, treating it the way a rockstar treats a hotel room. And if it does indeed move me, it's only for a number of moments. Then I'm back in my world of thoughts of women and sports and sex. Once again my camera points inward.

A friend told me last night that he got out of his depression after his divorce through volunteering. I had thought about volunteering. Bob Dylan sang on his most recent album, "I'm gonna forget about myself for a while, go out and see what others need." I have known this is important for a while.

Last night I left the movie theater with an inspiration crackling inside me. I was going to protest the war, to speak out about things, I was going to wake up and see that things really do matter to people. That what doesn't matter to me does indeed bring joy or suffering to others. But I woke up this morning, not able to shake this chest cold, and with my head once again foggy, introverted, and feeling helpless.

I must rally my troops. I must believe there are troops indeed to rally. The world is happening and either you believe that nothing matters or you believe that everything matters. If I found myself in the first camp, I might as well throw myself before a firing squad, because that would mean that I would have lost my soul. Everything does matter. It's all painted in metaphor, fraught with significance, and inhabited with meaning to the core.

I start taking chances right now. I start living and acting like I care and that things matter. When will I learn that that what I'm afraid of that lies on the other end of risk is not nearly as scary as living a stagnant life where nothing is expressed and nothing really matters.